The other day, my youngest daughter, Peyton, turned to me while watching a Christmas movie and said very somberly with tears in her eyes, "Mom, I think I'm on Santa's naughty list." Desperately trying to hold in my laughter, I asked her why she thought that. She said, "Because I am bad." Her little face was so sad that I just had to hug her and hold it together because I knew she really meant that. Of course I had to ask her why she thought she was bad and she said because she sneaks candy. Honey, if that makes a person bad, then I think a large majority of women are very bad, especially around "that time of the month" and Halloween. Oh, sweet York peppermint, you are too good to allow a child to eat. You must be mine. Anyway, I quickly told her that being on the naughty list was something we should always try to avoid and that I was sure that she had plenty of time to show Santa that she deserved to be on the "nice" list. This girl is what my mother gleefully warned me I would have if I didn't behave as a teenager. I tend to believe that she is a free-spirit, strong-willed, and listens to her own heart. It's ok to be hopeful, right? I'm not lying to myself. Really. Others, including her teachers and grandmas, might say she's full of energy or needs constant reminders to follow the rules. Her sister might say she's annoying and gets in her stuff.
Hunter was a people-pleaser and wanted to be the teacher's favorite while in elementary school and I never worried about her behavior in class. As a tween, she still has a volunteer spirit and likes to be helpful, much like her mother. Sometimes a little too helpful, Mommy #2 can get in a bit of trouble too. I can see where she just wants to keep Peyton from getting in trouble or simply just to stay alive. As she put it one day while Peyton was trying to eat a candy cane without taking off the wrapper, "Plastic kills, Mom. Why don't you care?!" Well, it might be that I just don't always have eyes in the back of my head and can't see what she's doing in the seat directly behind me while I'm driving, dear sweet child o' mine. Or something less sweet than that. Anyway, we aren't talking about me here.
Back to Peyton. When she said that about the naughty list, my mind automatically went to how she's doing in school. It's frustrating as a parent to have one child who would always follow the rules and the other who doesn't. This child is lucky she came when Mom had learned a little more patience as an experienced parent of a 6yo. If you ask Peyton why she has to pay "tickets" to her teacher, it's because she didn't know the rules. When the girl has been in class for several weeks, she should know them by now. During our last parent-teacher conference, we had a good discussion about rules, good choices, bad choices, and consequences. We asked her teacher, who's wonderful and was Hunter's teacher when she was in first grade, about her opinion on ADHD testing. She shared her son's story of ADHD and how she would encourage us to research our options and if needed, she would provide a report to our family physician. She didn't push medication over behavioral therapy which I appreciated. I also appreciated her honesty about the effect Peyton's inattentiveness and poor choices were starting to show in her academics.
I've begun the tedious task of researching ADHD, ADD, cognitive and behavioral therapy, eliminating different food items from her diet, medicating vs. not medicating, and it's making me wonder how parents really decide what's right for their child. It is so overwhelming but I know that my daughter is definitely worth it. If I can help her get on the "nice" list, I'll do everything I can because I know that not only is Santa watching, so is my Father in heaven and being on His "nice" list is something that I will forever fight to get my daughters on. If you are still reading this, please pray with me that we find the right thing to do for Peyton so that she is successful in school and in life and pray that she will continue to keep her heart open, listening to the stories of Jesus, to become a true daughter of Christ.